so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night
you guys think I’m joking??
my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
If you say “old sport” three times in front of your mirror Gatsby will appear and awkwardly hit on your wife
Asdfghjkl; spider in my keyboard? I don’t think so! No. Now it’s in the desk somewhere… How long has it been here?! Spider, you’re fine if you are found on my wall, or ceiling, but on my computer or on me is unacceptable. Leave and die, please and thank you.
whenyoufindtheoneyoudontgiveup asked: why aren't we best friends yet
I-I don’t know. I am not much of a social tumblr user. I’m a reblogger and a post-my-own-stuff-er. I say hi every once in awhile, if I feel courageous, but no one really talks to me, so I don’t talk to them. *shrugs* the way of the internet, I suppose. Ultimate internet loner, right here. *parties* But friends are cool, you know, if you want to try. :)
theshortcakefiles asked: Why can I not hug you and take you shopping and adopt a puppy with you?
Because I’m a figure of your imagination, I’m afraid :)
But seriously, you and Tallcake need to have cupcakes, or adopt a puppy of your own. If you had a dog, what would you call it, in reference to the whole cake thing you’ve got going on?